It’s been a while since my last blog but that’s only because I haven’t had anything new to say about poker and I didn’t want to force things and have you all thinking that my blog jumped the shark (if you don’t already think that). But after last night I need to unload a bit about a deadly game called seven-deuce, also known as 7-2.
As you may know 7-2 is the worst possible starting hand in Texas Hold- ‘em, and sometimes bored players agree to play a side game called 7-2. The premise is simple. If a player wins a hand with 7-2 he collects money from all the other players. Since a starting hand of 7-2 rarely wins, players often resort to bluffing in order to win the game.
So here it is Christmas Eve and I’m at the Parx playing at a table filled with Jews, Asians, degenerates and combinations thereof when someone who was way too bored to be at the game suggested that we play 7-2 for $25.00 a man. At first I objected, pointing out that the game is a form of gambling and that I don’t gamble, but when the rest of the table unanimously agreed to play I had no choice but to accede.
My buddy Peddie was at the table, and as we do whenever we are forced to play this ridiculous game, we related the story of Potter’s cousin Greg who lost $5500.00 trying to bluff with 7-2. At the end of the story I commented that although I was a part of the action, I would muck 7-2 in any event.
Approximately five hands later I looked down at my hole cards and of course there they were, 7-2 offsuit. Since poker is a game of deception and everyone knows that I won’t play 7-2, I raised to 40 dollars hoping that everyone would fold and I would win the $200 total bounty. In this situation it seemed certainly worthwhile to risk 40 dollars in order to win 200. To my dismay Sean called me. He is a solid player and in my mind I decided that I was done with the hand. Assuming I didn’t hit a favorable flop I would simply kiss the 40 dollars goodbye.
The flop came 4,4,6 with two diamonds and it was my turn to act first. Since there was now $80 in the pot I decided that there was a likelihood that Sean played two big cards and if the flop did not help him I could win the pot with a bet, so I bet $100. He instantly called. Now I decided that I was absolutely, positively finished with this hand and would accept my $140 loss as a lesson to avoid dabbling in forces beyond my control.
The turn card was a 2 of diamonds giving me a pair of deuces. There were three diamonds on board though and I didn’t have a diamond so I checked with the intention of mucking to any bet or just checking it down and losing to any pair. Sean reached for chips and bet $175. As I watched him carefully I thought I could see a moment of hesitation in his action. What if he had ace-king with a big diamond? I could actually be ahead with my deuces. So instead of throwing my cards into the muck I found myself reaching for raising chips and pushing $400 into the pot. To my great dismay Sean immediately pushed an additional $225 to the middle of the table, calling my raise.
OKAY OKAY OKAY I’M DONE! $540 to learn a valuable lesson. I watched helplessly as the dealer turned over the river card. It was a 6, making the board 4,4,2,6,6 with three diamonds. Now even if Sean was holding ace-king I would lose because my deuces got counterfeited (meaning that two higher pair made my deuces worthless and Sean would have a better kicker). Things couldn’t be worse. Or could they as I found myself pushing an additional $1800 into the pot. Stubbornness is a killer in poker. Stupidity is even worse. Apparently I had a huge abundance of both. In my mangled thought process I considered that maybe Sean had a small pocket pair, and that maybe he would think I had a 4 or a 6 or a flush. Or maybe the power in the casino would suddenly go out and I could grab my chips and run.
As I pushed the chips forward Sean stared into my eyes and said the words that took 10 years off my life (and I don’t really have 10 years to waste). He smirked and said “Do you have seven deuce? Why would you make this bet?” And then he took 10 minutes as he began to analyze the hand. My huge river bet made no sense to him whatsoever. As he talked he showed me his hole cards hoping for a reaction. He had pocket queens. At least five times he commented that the only thing that made sense was that I was playing seven deuce. And then of course I remembered that another friend had told me that Sean is a calling station and rarely mucks when he has a good hand.
Finally after an agonizingly long analysis (during which time I simply stopped looking in his direction) I could actually hear his cards hit the table. I turned quickly and saw them in the muck. I had won the pot and $540 of his money. I was almost embarrassed to turn over 7-2 but not enough to forego the $200 bounty. Sean just smiled as the internet whiz sitting next to him told me that he would have insta-called (information which I later used against him when I overbet the nuts).
So here is my vow. I will never play 7-2 again… well maybe just for a small bet.
