Sunday, March 28, 2010

An Introduction to Uncle Marv's Poker Blog

Hello Poker Degenerates! Oh wait you're insulted because you're not a degenerate. You just enjoy playing occasionally. You don't suffer from withdrawal when you're not playing. In fact you can sit at home and happily watch television while all of your friends are playing poker because you don't want to go out in the rain. If this is you - THEN GO AWAY! THIS BLOG IS FOR THE PERSON WHOSE LIFE REVOLVES AROUND THE NEXT GAME, THE GUY OR GAL WHO BEGS FOR ONE MORE ROUND WHEN THE HOST SAYS IT'S LATE AND THE GAME MUST END, THE PERSON WHO PLAYS TILL 4 AM AND THEN CALLS ALL THE OTHER PLAYERS AT 10 AM THAT MORNING TO DISCUSS EACH HAND AD NAUSEAM, THE PERSON WHO TAKES A CRUISE TO THE CARIBBEAN AND WHOSE SPOUSE CAN'T DRAG HIM OR HER AWAY FROM THE POKER TABLE EXCEPT FOR A QUICK RUN TO THE BUFFET. If this is you, welcome. If not, a river datchee and a dew!


So you're still here. You know that you're a Poker Degenerate but you still don't like the phrase. Fine, I'll call you a P.D. Nobody will know what that stands for except us.


This is my first blog and I'm not really sure how to begin except to introduce myself. I'm Uncle Marv. I got this nickname because I used to play in a homegame with about 30 other players One of the players was my nephew as was one of the dealers and so everyone just started calling me Uncle Marv. Now the fact is that no serious self-respecting P.D. can truly succeed without having a nickname. In that original home game we had Billy Muscles and Billy Landscaper, Joe Trees and Richie Trees (no relation except they both cut down trees), Vinnie IE and Vinny Y, Richie the Hat and Richie the Pro, Al Cigar and Al Cigarless (nickname change after heart attack) the Handicapper (people who didn't know him but just heard the name always thought he was handicapped but Handicapper was just a euphemism for bookie), and we had The Visor (who always wore a visor - duh), Mikey Liquor and Liquored-up Mike (varying perspectives), Harry Potter, and let's see.. oh ok you want to know my nephew's nickname. Hmm I will assume that nobody else in the family will be reading this blog so ok - The Perv! You get the point. So now you're a little frantic. You don't have a nickname.What do you do? First of all I commend you because you came to the right place. As time passes I hope to provide even more information than Super Systems. Of course it won't be as good as Super Systems but it will be more.


Now where were we? Oh yes, you are a P.D. without a nickname. What do you do? Well I will defer to two of the players in my home game, Mike and Steve. Each took a slightly different approach. When Mike first joined the home game he introduced all 330 pounds of himself as Tiny. And so everyone calls him Tiny. In fact few people even know that his real name is Mike. So if you are joining a new game, give yourself a starting-out nickname. And try to use something that's not already in use. Don't call yourself the Poker Brat or the Unabomber because you'll look like a doofus. Be creative if you like but table image is important in poker so keep that in mind if you are choosing your own nickname.


Steve on the other hand has had to deal with the problem differently because he played in that 30 man home game for two years as "Steve," just Steve. Reinventing himself has not been easy but Steve is a resourceful guy and he came to a home game after playing in a tournament at the Borgata and told us about how he was mowing down the table and the remaining players started calling him "The Reaper." While it hasn't totally caught on yet, I have been calling him The Reaper, and as new players join the game, his nom de plume will begin to stick.


Okay I don't want to overload you on the first blog and I must get ready for a poker game so class is dismissed. In the mean time, if you are playing against me, may all your cards be rags and may all your rivers drown you.

1 comment:

  1. this somewhat recovering pd, who never actually called you "uncle" but sure could've, will be reading...

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