Some days are diamonds… some are hearts, clubs, or spades. Yesterday was a none-of-the- above day. Instead it was the kind of day that lives in poker player infamy.

I arrived at the Parx just in time to grab the last seat in a new 2-5 no limit game, the highest stakes game in progress at the time. I decided to post the $5 big blind out of turn in order to jump right into the action and as I gazed down at two black aces I smugly believed that I had made a wise investment indeed, once again failing to take into account the whims of the poker gods and their twisted senses of right and wrong. When the player in front of me raised to $30 I reraised to $100. Slow playing aces in a multi-way pot is an invitation to disaster and although I wanted one caller, I wanted ONLY one caller. With multiple callers preflop, pocket aces could go from a 65% favorite (or higher) in a heads-up situation down into the 30 something percent range.

As everyone after me folded back to the original raiser I breathed a slight sigh of relief, and when he reraised to $350 it was a poker player’s dream. I dawdled a bit for effect and then pushed the rest of my initial MAXIMUM buy-in to the center of the table. The other player had me covered and instantly made the call.

At the Parx there is no requirement to show your cards after an all-in bet and so we simply watched the flop. And by simply watching the flop of K, Q, 2 I knew that my 84% favorite position had shrunk to about 5%. There was no doubt in my mind that my opponent held pocket kings or queens and of course as the turn and river appeared to be irrelevant cards, much to my dismay my read proved to be correct as my opponent turned over two ladies and pulled the massive stack of chips to his bosom.

I rebought THE MAXIMUM again and that lasted almost 12 minutes when my big blind of J-4 of hearts in a 6 way limp pot met up with A-K-2 of hearts. Small bets and calls steadily built the pot and took us to the river where the three hearts had been joined by two black cards which also placed an inviting four card straight to Broadway on board. When this board elicited a bet followed by an all-in from a shoot from the hip bad, bad player I called with enthusiasm, only to watch him excitedly display the Q-3 of hearts which he played under the gun.

Two MAXIMUM buy ins gone in less time than it took to find a parking space. Suddenly however things quickly began to look up. – Or so I thought as the announcement came over the loudspeaker for the start of a 5-10 no-limit game, the big game at the Parx. I maneuvered quickly through the crowded poker room, grabbing my favorite seat du jour, the one seat, which allows me to have my back to the wall in case anyone were to go postal.

Before you could say cry me a river the cards were in the air and once again I found myself looking at a monster hand, A-K of clubs. I raised to $40 and a guy I’ll call John (because that’s his name) reraised immediately to $150. Now I have played with John many times. He has played in my home game and although he is one of those guys who travels to Las Vegas to play poker, he is actually a very weak inconsistently wild player who alwaysssss loses. Since I was familiar with his cowboy style of play I reraised to $400 and sensed that he was making a crying call. He then suggested we check it down meaning that we don’t bet any further. I took this as a sign of weakness and responded that I don’t play that way, But when the flop of 10-8-2 appeared and I knew that even if he had pocket threes I could not move him off the hand, I checked with a big smile as if to accede that we would check it down. This did save me a few bucks as a Queen hit the turn and his A-Q beat my A-K.

So now I was tilting. And this is where things can get way out of hand. All of the poker players who know me – and okay even my wife and daughter - know that with the possible exception of Jimmy D, nobody can tilt the way I do. Tilting has been the biggest detriment to my game, and yet has often proven to be the biggest asset as well. While the good players line up salivating when I am on tilt, many others run in fear, especially those who have played with me in the big Palm game.

Asian Kevin was playing at the table. Many players dislike Kevin because he is brash and often nasty to other players and especially dealers. As it happens I like Kevin a lot, primarily because back in the old Borgata days he was at my table when a dealer’s mistake cost me $600. I called for the floor and Kevin – who was not involved in the hand – immediately jumped up and started screaming that I had been cheated out of $600 and I always appreciated that.

Back to the Parx. I looked down at A-K once again as a player in front of me raised to $35. I reraised to $100 (which had nothing to do with the fact that I was tilting) and Kevin and the other player smooth-called, meaning to me that Kevin had a very strong hand. The flop was Q-10-2 with two clubs (I had no clubs). Kevin bet out $270 and the other player mucked. Normally I too would muck but since I was tilting I found a way to call. Maybe Kevin had two clubs and I was ahead. And after all I did have two overs to the board and a six-outer gutshot to the nuts. And so I pushed $270 very unwisely into the pot. The turn was a jack of clubs giving me Broadway but also putting three clubs on the board. Kevin moved all in for another $350 and when I called he said “do you have clubs?” I shook my head no and he smiled. “Then you lose,” he said turning over pocket queens for a set of queens. “Sorry Kevin,” I replied. “I hit a gutshot.” Kevin just stared at me for a moment. “You did me bad!” In the game of poker a tilt call is always welcome, except when it happens to hit.

So now I was off tilt. It only takes one suckout for me to do that and I was thinking it’s time to move up, up, up. So I played the rush on the very next hand, calling a raise with 7-8 of hearts from a chipped-up player who only plays kings and aces. When the player made a big overbet to a flop of 8-7-2 I appropriately moved all-in. He went into the tank as I took a swig of my lukewarm water. Finally with shaky hands he pushed his chips in. “NO ACE NO KING” I shouted over and over as the dealer turned the next card, but I forgot to add one other card to my mantra. I should have said “no deuce”as well. I forgot. The deuce on the turn sealed my fate as his aces up counterfeited my two pair and I understood the pain of a starting pitcher sent to the showers as I took that seemingly never-ending escalator ride to oblivion.

It’s going to be a long rest of the weekend.

By the way, I’ve played poker for a long time and have seen many crazy plays but I just saw a new one at the Parx 5-10 no-limit game. A player raised to $35 and another reraised to $175. There were two callers to the reraise. The flop was 9-6-3 with two spades and the reraiser bet out $400 attracting one of the callers. The turn was a red 4 at which time the reraiser shoved all in for $600 more. The other player insta-called prompting the reraiser to frown and comment “You called on a flush draw?” Apparently so because the river card was not a spade and the caller disgustedly mucked his cards forfeiting the pot to the reriaser who called for the chips but as is the house rule the dealer pointed out that he must show his cards in order to win. The reraiser sheepishly turned over 7-2 much to the chagrin of the mucker who surely had the better hand.